God Quietly Phasing Holy Ghost Out Of Trinity
HEAVEN—Calling the Holy Trinity "overstaffed and over budget," God announced plans Monday to downsize the group by slowly phasing out the Holy Ghost. "Given the poor economic climate and the unclear nature of the Holy Ghost's duties, I felt this was a sensible and necessary decision," God said. "The Holy Ghost will be given fewer and fewer responsibilities until His formal resignation from Trinity duty following Easter services on April 20. Thereafter, the Father and the Son shall be referred to as the Holy Duo."
In other news...Mr. Rogers of "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood" has passed away at the age of 74. On behalf of all my fellow public TV for children fans, I'd like to say: We will always be....your neighbor.