April 13, 2004

Ladies of Days Gone By

Ladies of days gone by: If a lady accidentally over-salts a dish while 
it's still cooking, she drops in a peeled potato and it absorbs the excess
Salt for an instant "fix-me-up." 
Women of today: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too 
damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and 
you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes." 
Ladies of days gone by: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half 
and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. 
Women of today: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You 
might still have the headache, but who cares? 
Ladies of days gone by: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a 
sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. 
Women of today: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, 
eating it anyway. 
Ladies of days gone by: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in 
the bag with the potatoes. 
Women of today: Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for 
up to a year. 
Ladies of days gone by: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking 
pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white 
mess on the outside of the cake. 
Women of today: Go to the bakery -- they'll even decorate it for you. 
Ladies of days gone by: Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before 
baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. 
Women of today: Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg
whites over the crust, so I just don't do it. 
Ladies of days gone by: If you have a problem opening jars, try using 
latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening 
jars easy. 
Women of today: Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it. 
And finally the most important tip.... 
And my personal favorite-- 
Ladies of days gone by: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze 
into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. 
Women of today: Leftover wine?? 
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!" 

Posted by at April 13, 2004 11:18 AM